Saturday, when I went to leave for my long run, Ell gave me her sad face and said, "You goin' running? You need take Ellwee with stwoller."
I looked at Dev and said I would love to take her, but not this time because I really wanted to get 14 miles in that day and it was crazy to think about doing it with the double jogger.
But then Dev reminded me that I used to take the boys on long runs a lot before Ellee was born.
For some reason I had forgotten about those runs.
And just like that something changed in my mind, and I remembered how to be fearless and how to believe in myself.
Of course I could do it. Bring it.
So with one more look at Ellee's bottom lip sticking out farther than her nose, we loaded up the double jogging stroller.
And you know what, I pushed that double jogger up almost 1000 feet of elevation, then picked Tagg up and ran with both kiddos back down. On the way down we hit the craziest cotton windstorm I have ever seen. The kids were grabbing the cotton from cotton trees in the air and making balls with it. You can't make this stuff up, it was nuts.
The last mile was mentally tough. It was hot and my legs were dead.
But I did it. I pushed that double jogger for 14 miles.
That same morning when I woke up it would not have even crossed my mind to be able to do that.
But I did it.
Walking through the sprinklers to cool down at the end.
As I ran I thought a lot about how our limits and capabilities are all in our mind.
You hear it said all the time.
But even if you've done something incredible and crossed over that mind over matter line a few times, it's still easy to fall into the fear trap.
There was once a time I thought I couldn't a marathon.
What else am I stopping myself from doing because I'm afraid I can't?
A lot, that's what.
And in many facets of my life.
From running, to talents, to my capabilities as a mother, to dreams of the future.
Too often I make decisions based on fear.
Fear of failure, fear of what others might think, fear of disappointment.
I'm making a renewed goal to view life through faith, lean on God, and hope and live more fearlessly.